


Benny's secret

by bug_wish89



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parent John Winchester, Benny Lafitte Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Delusions, Homophobic John Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, POV Benny Lafitte, Protective Benny Lafitte, Sad Dean Winchester, Sick Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 06:57:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bug_wish89/pseuds/bug_wish89
Summary: Dean gets injured in Purgatory and has feverish dreams. And Benny has nothing but his arms to hold the hunter together.





	Benny's secret

Benny finds a cave for them to rest, its barely big enough to sit up in but it's the first time Dean's been able to relax since he got to Purgatory. They talk about a lot of things, what it's like upstairs, some of the things Dean has seen, what it was like when Benny was up top. Eventually they start talking about prior hookups. Benny talks about being with guys, says gender isn't important to vampires, blood gets you hard no matter who it comes from and after all that death you take pleasure where you can get it. Benny touches Dean's thigh, Dean tenses and grits out "Don't." Benny removes his hand but says "Sometimes the body wants what it wants, brother. It's the mind that complicates things." 

Dean is tense and withdrawn for weeks after that, being so distracted gets his right calf clawed into by a monster. He's pissed and swears like a sailor as Benny bandages it. Dean makes a joke about the vampire being tempted by all the blood. Benny says he's gotten used to it by now, don't got to worry about him. 

A cold streak hits purgatory and Dean's wound grows worse and he gets a fever. Benny empties out another slightly bigger cave of its occupants and helps Dean inside. 

The first night Dean doesn't sleep, he sits up against the wall thinking about what happened last time they were in a burrow. Benny's sleeping next to him, softly snoring under his breath. Dean's plagued by doubts, wants he's always pushed down and ignored before. He reaches out towards Benny's arm, pausing inches away before pulling it back and mentally tearing himself down. When the vampire wakes up it's colder outside and Dean is sweaty and shaking. He sits up next to the hunter, putting his coat on the man and eventually his arm around him until Dean falls asleep. It's the last time Dean is awake for a while. 

Dean's fever gets worse and Benny has to go out to get fresh water. He cleans the human's wounds and holds the hunter closer. The cold streak outside switches to a hot one. Dean becomes delirious and starts talking in his sleep. At first it's like he's talking to Sam when they were kids. "Just eat it Sammy...of course I'm gonna eat too, I eat when you're asleep." Then the Nightmares come where he calls for Sam, always circling back to that no matter what else he seems to be dreaming about. Benny shushes him whenever he gets too loud and attributes it to Dean's training that it works and the hunter gets quieter. Then Dean talks about the time he kissed a boy during freshman year of highschool. How he couldn't wait to get home to tell Sam how happy he was. But Sam wasn't there. 

Dean says he's never seen his dad look at him like that before. That blank glare, the same as when he looks a monster in the eye before killing it. Says dad took him out to the middle of the woods and left him there with a bag of weapons, telling him to find out what the monster was and kill it. He'll be back in four days and by then Dean will either be dead or a real man. Apparently the monster was a werewolf, it broke Dean's leg but Dean managed to kill it and drag himself back to the road barely in time for his dad to show up. Says after his dad came to get him they never talked about it again. He dropped out of school that very same day and he's never told Sammy the truth as to why. Dean's fever spikes and becomes life threatening and all Benny can do is lay the man out on the vamp's cool chest, cover them both with Benny's coat and pray to the angels the hunter is always bitchin about that Dean somehow lives through this. 

Dean's delusions become hostile and aggressive. He growls and threatens some black-eyed bastard named Alistair, again and again. Tells him to just cut him already and stop boring him to death with his sweet talkin. Snarls that he's going to "get out of these chains and kill every single one of you hell-breathed sons a bitches! Just you wait, I'm not going anywhere!" Dean snarls and squirms for a while and honestly, Benny's heard monsters sound less savage. He worries Dean's on his last legs and starts stroking his hair, shushing him gently. Then Dean starts crying and talking to his mother. Says he misses her, says he's sorry. Sobs as his voice cracks and says that he wishes Emma was still alive. How he should've helped her, protected her. How he watched them take her away and he should've stopped it, he knew something was wrong and he should've done something, anything. He apologizes over and over and over again. He cries himself out finally and his breathing eventually evens out in sleep. Not long after, Dean's temperature starts to come down. 

When Dean finally wakes, he doesn't remember any of it and Benny swears to Purgatory that he'll never tell the hunter the things he said, how vulnerable he was in front of the vampire. Then Benny admits to himself that he's already fallen for the green-eyed miracle and swears to never let him down in the same breath.


End file.
